


Zombies Like You For Your Brains

by TrickrTreason



Category: Re-Animator (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M, Zombies, halloween fic, honestly just a silly sort of story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 18:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12487608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickrTreason/pseuds/TrickrTreason
Summary: Dan Cain has reasons to suspect his roommate is among the living dead, will he be able to save the small town of Arkham from a zombie hoard, or will he be swayed by the living dead's unearthly charm?





	Zombies Like You For Your Brains

It was suspicious when Herbert West holed himself up in their shared house, but it was even more suspicious when he left it. From the few years Dan had known the man he had come to realize two things, 1 being that Herbert West hated most people and most things and 2 being that he was somewhat of a recluse. So finding his roommate had gone off somewhere without him one Friday evening sent a cold chill up Daniel’s spine. He didn’t want to the think about what the other man may be up to, despite the creeping thoughts that kept plaguing his mind for a good portion of the evening. 

Dan had set out to cook some sort of dinner for himself and the maybe study for a test he had coming up in the next week. Though, like many things he wanted to do, laziness and apathy took over, dinner would end up being three hot pockets (Herbert’s hot pockets, he’ll have to replace them this weekend) and a beer. Studying turned into mindlessly watching reruns of Friends for about an hour and a half. He was just about halfway through with the episode about Ross’s sandwich when Herbert had kicked open the front door, holding two large paper bags to chest, no doubt filled with things. Judging by his semi-startled look, one that only a person well versed in Herbert West emotions can read, he had not expected to be caught kicking in their front door. He gave Dan a once over with his piercing grey eyes, taking into account his roommate’s schlubby appearance, slouched back into their worn down couch, resting a plate of essentially pizza burritos on his chest watching a 23 year old sitcom. He kicked the door behind him closed and took an apprehensive step forward. 

“Those had better not be my hot pockets,” he said cooly, with just a hint of an edge in his voice. 

“No…?” Dan answered, sounding none too confident in his lie. Herbert looked down and fixed him with a once more piercing stare, before sniffing softly and turning away. 

“They better not be,” he grumbled, before swiftly turning towards the basement, bags never leaving his side. 

“Hey Herbert, what’d you get at the store?” Dan asked, voice trailing Herbert down the basement stairs. 

“None of your business!” was the shouted reply he received. Dan rolled his eyes, of course he wouldn’t get a straight answer, why on Earth would he think he’d get one talking to Herbert West. He sighed inwardly, pushing himself off the couch and walked over to the kitchen, placing his unfinished plate of hot pockets in the microwave. He’d might as well make good on his lie and get some more of the pizza burritos for his roommate. There was a convenience store not too far down the road and it wasn’t too late to simply walk down and make a quick stop.

The whole stop was relatively quick, in and out with the box nestled safely in the small plastic bag hanging by his wrist.  
‘Plastic bag?’ Dan thought. ‘The bags Herbert had were paper, are there even any places in walking distance with a paper option? Does he even know how to drive? I’ve never seen his car?’

He walked through the house and placed the box into the freezer before stopping at the basement door. He opened it and hollered down. 

“Herbert! Do you have a car?” 

“Do you see a car parked outside Daniel?” came the snippy, also hollered response from the basement. 

That settles that then. It settled the option of Herbert walking to a store farther away, he’s seen Herbert use the stairs to go to his third floor class, those stubby legs mixed with his lack of athleticism, he’d give Herbert one mile before he gave up and passed out on the sidewalk.  
Maybe he brought his own bags? Herbert had never seemed particularly conscience of the environment, but he also didn’t seem to actively hate it. They have a recycling bin, they’re fairly progressive. Dan was just about ready to give up, he’d exhausted all his possibilities and was just going to let the man have his secrets. Until a wheedly, treacherous thought found its way into his brain. 

‘What if it’s organ in the bag? Think about it, he must have stolen them and plastic bags are see through, it’s the perfect ploy.’

‘Yeah, okay.’ Dan replied back to his brain. ‘But if it were organs, he would have told me about whatever hairbrained scheme he has now.’

‘He’s gonna eat ‘em.’ 

‘What?’ 

‘He’s gonna eat ‘em, he turned himself into a zombie using the reagent. That’s why he’s so cold and pale, that’s why he needs to eat raw organs.’ 

No, no, no, that’s ridiculous.

He couldn’t be a zombie, those don’t exist. Yet again, Dan also didn’t think the resurrected dead existed a year ago, reality just sort of changes and bends around Herbert like that. When Dan really thought about it, it made sense that his roommate could be part of the walking dead, when was the last time he’d even seen Herbert eat? Those hot pockets had to be at least 3 weeks old and the box was practically untouched.  
Dan wanted more solid evidence, but by the way their ‘conversations’ had been going tonight, Herbert wouldn’t give him a proper answer, even if he weren’t a ghoul. 

Dan eyed the basement suspiciously, if he wanted to find out for sure he’d have to make a plan. It wasn’t weird, he justified to himself, it was just encase Herbert started getting a taste for living flesh. He imagined those soft, pastel pink lips pulled back into a snarl, dripping with blood from an open wound in his neck, a full body shiver wracked through Dan. He could not let this happen, best friend or not, he’s not feeding himself to Herbert West.  
Not literally anyway. 

He had to make a plan, a way he could get Herbert out in the open doing… zombie things. The only problem is that Herbert never seems to do anything in the house portion unless he’s alone. Dan wouldn’t even know that Herbert uses the upstairs part of their house except that he never uses a coffee filter and they end up with chunky coffee in the pot. Was this a secret underlying clue that he was a zombie the whole time, chunky coffee? No, probably not, it was probably just a sign that Herbert had very few skills outside of science and medicine. He had reason to believe Herbert didn’t even know how to make grilled cheese, and that almost disturbed him more than the zombie thing. 

‘Dammit, focus Dan, we need a plan! Wait! Tell him you’ll be out of the house all day Saturday, wait for him to go upstairs and then spy on him through the windows. It’s not creepy if it’s for the better good.’ 

Perfect. 

“Hey Herbert! I’m gonna be out of the house on Saturday! Don’t wait up!” he yelled down the basement stairs into the creeping darkness. 

“Don’t get an STD!” Herbert yelled back up to him, voice dry and humorless. The voice of a flesh eater. 

Dan actually woke up early this Saturday morning, springing up from bed at a sharp 8 AM. He went into the kitchen and luckily got to the coffee machine before Herbert had, brewing himself a nice strong pot, he’d need his energy up depending on how this day took it’s turn. He waited at the kitchen table for Herbert to stumble groggily out of either his bedroom or the basement, woken up by the sweet smell of fresh coffee. ‘Or by the sweet smell of fresh human.’ Dan’s mind put forth. Sure enough, within the hour Herbert showed up, wearing an oversized undershirt nearly concealing his boxer shorts, yawning and stretching before grabbing his own mug for coffee. He downed the mug of hot black coffee in three quick gulps before blinking owlishly at Dan. The shirt hung lopsidedly off his frame, exposing a pale and slightly freckled shoulder. It was cute, which was weird because of all the adjectives used to describe his necromancer roommate (chilly, cruel, petty, bleak, to name a few) cute just wasn’t a common one. Unfortunately, in the morning light with Herbert looking so small and soft in his sleep deprived state, he fit the bill perfectly. Damn him and his zombie charms!

“Dan, you’re still here,” he said, with no inflection in his voice, though Dan felt the other man’s irritation. “Why?”

“Oh, I was just heading out,” Dan said smoothly, not technically lying. “I was just having some breakfast before leaving for the day.” Herbert fixed him with a suspicious steely eye. 

“Ok then,” he said carefully. “Bye.”

“Heh, yup. Bye Herbert,” he replied cheerfully, getting up to leave. “You monster,” he added, just out of earshot. 

Now was the time to put his plan into action, quickly scurrying to the back yard to his spot in the bushes by a well placed window. There, he would be able to see the full living room and a partial bit of the kitchen, but knowing Herbert’s experience there, he wasn’t too concerned that any zombisms would go on there. Dan peered through the window, so far it looked like Herbert was still in the kitchen, until he heard a loud thump of the basement door. Looking over to the very edge of the window, he could see the door was slightly ajar, perfect, that means he won’t be in there for long.  
Sure enough, there was the tell-tale thumps of sock covered feet walking up the creaky wooden stairs, and Herbert West emerge from the basement holding his two brown paper bagged parcels. He sat down on their shabby looking couch, placing the bags next to him on the other side. He was curled up into the arm of the couch, watching some sort of cheesy 80s science fiction movie. He was eating. 

Looking over the man’s hunched shoulders, he could see a splurt of something thick and red coming from what seemed to be his mouth. Dan felt his stomach churn and flip, whatever he was eating, it’s blood was thick and congealed, and getting all over the coffee table. Dan had to stop him, he had to defeat the ghoul. Grabbing the closest thing that could be used as a weapon, that being a large stick, Dan charged around the house and slammed open the front door, wielding the stick over his head with a triumphant cry of “Die Zombie!”. Perhaps ‘triumphant’ is a strong word and ‘frantic’ would be better placed. 

Looking down at the man on the couch, he expected to see a white eyed, snarling, blood covered fiend. What he actually saw was a rather frightened Herbert panting heavily, pinned up against the furthest most corner of the couch. He appeared to have thrown a jelly donut at Dan in some sort of useless attempt at self defense, his pupils so blown with fear his eyes were nearly black. 

“What. The Fuck Dan?” Herbert shouted, words heavy in between panting breaths. Dan lowered his stick slowly to the floor and put his hands in up in front of him. He was beginning to realize, he was the one looking like a monster here, not his obviously frightened roommate.

“You’re not a zombie.” He said dumbly. It was meant more for a question, but standing here now, whatever evidence he had before has just been proven false. The other man’s face screwed up in confusion. 

“No!” he spat out. “No I am not a zombie. What the fuck made you think that?” This was the second time Dan had heard Herbert swear since living with him, the first time being only a few moments prior. Whatever half cooked up theories and suspicions Dan had before simply wouldn’t leave his mouth in an articulate manner, leaving him stumbling over his own tongue before finally answering. 

“You don’t know how to make coffee, and you hide organs in paper bags for snacks.” 

There was a quiet moment between the two before Herbert suddenly broke into a mad fit of giggles, face completely splitting into a look of unhinged glee . When Dan shot him a concerned and confused look, it only caused Herbert’s laughter to become more raucous and manic. If Dan wasn’t so confused, he would have laughed to, just because of how delighted the other man looked. Calming down his breathing and wiping away a few stray tears, Herbert smirked up at Dan. 

“I don’t eat meat, much less humans. I’m a vegetarian, and I do know how to make coffee, but I like your’s better.” 

“Wh-well what about the brown bags. There are no stores nearby that have a paper bag option?” Dan asked, feeling a bit defensive. 

“Well, aren't we the curious cat, Daniel,” he said, smugness creeping into his voice. “If you must know, there was a farmers’ market on campus, I happened to pick up a few treats for myself that I wasn't intending on sharing. If you're so curious and so desperate to know whether it's human flesh, you can look for yourself.” 

Rummaging through the bags, Dan found some more donuts, a brownie, two bags of kale chips, some pita chips and some sort of dip. He didn't need to look up from the bags to feel the self-righteousness and cockiness imitating from Herbert. Damn him, even in his pajamas he held an intimidating aura. Dan fell to his knees beside the man, head falling into his hands in defeat, succumbing to his own embarrassment and hubris. He was ready to just sit there until he eventually decayed before he felt a cold, bony hand rubbing his shoulder blade. He peered through his fingers only to see Herbert looking down at him, smile still insincere but his eyes held a certain warmness they just normally didn't. 

“Well Dan, I suppose of all the things people have accused me of, zombie is the one I find the least offensive, so you get points there. Now get up from the floor,” his hand moved from shoulder to bicep, gently hoisting Dan from the floor to the space next to him on the couch. 

“Since you've already caught me, I assume you wouldn't mind keeping me company during the rest of Weird Science?” 

Dan switched his focus from empty space to the man next to him. Soft pastel lips were not snarling and covered in blood, but lightly dusted in powdered sugar and pulled slightly into a rare genuine smile. Sharp grey eyes held a soft glow to them, like storm clouds brimming with hidden sunlight, and cold, pale fingers were still wrapped around his arm. Dan smiled. 

“Yeah, yeah I would like that a lot.” They watched the movie with little to no interruptions or talking between the two, though Dan did lightly notice that Herbert’s hand, though it did leave his arm, rested comfortably on his upper thigh. He would be lying if he said he minded in the slightest. When the movie ended and switched over to a different but equally different  
cheesy sci-fi movie, Dan could see Herbert nodding off slightly to his side, before eventually the man fell asleep, head resting comfortably on Dan’s chest. His cheek was squished up against his glasses, and normally neat dark brown hair looked soft and tousled. Dan smiled down at the sleeping man and rested his hand in the small of Herbert’s back, since in isn’t a zombie afterall, he no longer has an excuse to not make his own coffee.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is honestly just some self-indulgent fluff cooked up during the Halloween season that would probably have ended up being longer and more danbert focused if I hadn't tried to keep it on topic. Would you guys like an extra danbert chapter? Would it be fun to have danbert while also having Herbert really be a zombie? 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are highly appreciated.


End file.
